Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Ponder This

These came on my email from a friend this morning - I thought you might enjoy them like I did!

Have you ever wondered about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards - - it’s NAÏVE!

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

OK..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one??

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks??

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men??

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me.....They’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use - Toothpicks??

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for
them while they deliver the mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others supposed to be doing?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Next time income tax time approaches, think about this: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells … "THEIRS"

3 comments:

someone else said...

Funny, funny, funny! Thanks for a great laugh out loud.

TJ said...

I was feeling kinda crummy till I came by here and got a good *chuckle*
I'm going to share this with my daughter by email...she is going to love it!!
Thanks so much for the lift!!
:-D

kpjara said...

I love these! Thank you for the laughs!

I love "disgruntled"